USED ARMY RECRUITER FOR SALE

I want beer....

2007-08-19T23:13:00.000-05:00

I have 50 dollars in my wallet, a life time membership to the V.F.W., and a picture of someone else’s kid. I also keep an old drivers licenses in there to remember what I was like before the Army, and the war. Back then I had long hair, facial hair, and wasn’t kept. I was smart, but never made the right moves. Smoking weed, and waxing politics and current event issues; I never thought I would get swept up into it all. I now have this feeling, a feeling like dread every day. On days like this it’s hard to ignore, but most of the time it isn’t noticeable at all. I have thrown so much away for so little. Mostly love. I constantly think about this, I’m afraid. 6 years ago, I would have still accounted for all of this as teen angst. Today, most would say its Post traumatic stress. I feel like it’s a cold war in my head. Good verses evil, plots within plots. It’s a real Alice in Wonderland up there. So, like the junkies and the alcoholics, its one day at a time, one night at a time. I can still get it up, but I can’t screw. It’s only when I rub one out that I can get off. I have forgotten so much, and I can only think about a few moments in my life. An obsession that grips me; as if saying “one man can change the world, but you would change it back.” I think it all means that I’m still here. That if I changed things, it wouldn’t be real any more. You want to know what the real kicker is. Its that I’m actually happy with a sprinkle of anxiety. I really do think I would change things back if someone set things right. I only wish I could say I was sorry to the girl that was waiting for me when I got back from the war.

crabby pants.

2007-04-15T12:34:00.000-05:00

i awoke from a dream, and i ran to the bathroom and puked. there was a little blood in it. i think its the stress. i miss the war. this stuff never happened to me there. but since i couldnt sleep i actually went to church. found no solice there though.

i didnt shave today.

2007-04-12T19:24:00.000-05:00

i'm not even going to spell check or nothing today. dont feel like it. i've been on leave for a few.. and its been amazing. i'm looking forward to when i retire in a few and i can just relax. hell i may even work. get a normal nine to fiver. no longer have to deal with the gossip of FRG (thats the military spouses) or other people that cant keep their cock holsters shut. i'm just looking forward to being able to quit if i dont like what i do and look for something new. safety standards that are legally inforced (not saying that getting up at 3am and driving 4 hours to get a recruit to meps so he can join and then getting home at 1030-midnight, and getting up at 6 to get to work, and then getting off late again, day after day isnt safe.. who would say a thing like that.

its an important job i know. someone has to do it. its thank less. and demeaning. and many many other things. but lordi.. i just want the end to come. mostly for the general population.. but for this job, i guess i can live with that.

Hell is a place called Earth. And Heaven is made up.

2007-02-23T20:14:00.000-06:00

There are days that if said this and I didn’t know my self I would think I was suicidal. I’m not. It’s just that lately I have been obsessed with the thought of putting a bullet in my head. It’s not like something that you just out right think, kind of a in the back of your mind thing. Up until last night when I was fucking this girl I couldn’t think of a reason that I would be constantly thinking about such a thing. Especially since I don’t have any drive to do that kind of a thing. The thought is more of a scenery kind of thing. Like a sun set only dark and twisted. I have the answer. Well I think it’s the answer, and it’s open to discussion. During the invasion and the first year of the war, it was my job to put bullets in the enemy of America. Those that don’t hold the belief that freedom of choice is above all the greatest gift of our known world were killed. We all did the fighting. I don’t think I like to say killing, sounds unpatriotic. After sometime here in the great land of civilians and working as a recruiter, I have realized that I’m not offering choice, or freedom. But the opportunity to serve and uphold that freedom of choice, by giving it up. I’m out to take that away. Well more importantly I hold service to country as an extremely high value. Very few left that do. To many people in America, the recruiter has become the enemy. I think the idea of a bullet in my head is the idea of self hate and realizing that America is week and ignorant. And it will take violence on a large scale, like 9-11 to bring America and more people to the call to duty.

Still trying to figure out why I’m such a dick to women, even the ones I like. I wish I could say it has nothing to do with the broke whore I used to date. I really do hope she’s happy with that fire fighter. But I was a little like this before her.

Hookers are Free! Pain is expensive.

2007-01-28T22:32:00.000-06:00

I think I’m afraid to write in this thing. Not for fear of getting in trouble with the command, though it’s not like I’m writing the doomsday of recruiting. But I just don’t think I want much to remember the last 2 years. Well almost 2 years, with one to go. I found out the ex girlfriend (hooker/whore). Is dating a fire man named Tim. part of me wants to warn him about her, but I wont. It’s up each person to see out the pain of mistakes. I’m currently man whoring it up with 3 girls. I’m not saying I’m a saint. After all the hell I’ve been through. It’s my way of karmic revenge.

I wish I had died in Iraq some days. I wouldn’t have had to bare the burden of recruiting in a country that’s so self centered. I wouldn’t work for a disconnected from reality command. Or for that matter I wouldn’t be out of shape. I wouldn’t be ashamed of putting on that recruiting patch. Until recruiting, I had never felt any shame about my uniform. The way people look at me after they realize I’m a recruiter, it’s like every retarded asshole verbal expression they have about anything must be thrown down on my shoulders. It’s not like I have to put on a smile every day and listen to it. Smile to the people that come up to me and shake my hand and tell me how proud of us (troops) they are, then tell me how this war is dumb and we should just quit. JUST QUIT! I just want to scream at these people that I should just quit too. That no one understands why we do what we do as soldiers. Hell, its people like that who make me think twice about it. I think it was Rambo that said, “I just want my country to love me as much as I love my country..”

I’m a drunk, a womanizer, a little over weight, late for work; ignore my family’s phone calls out of fear of having to talk about anything with anyone. All I want to do is go back to Iraq and fight. Take all the anger I have built up here and take it out on them over there, I blame them for all this. If they would just fuck off and let the people of Iraq live and go on with their lives I wouldn’t be here have to defend the basic ideas of America, and how they should be available to everyone every where, regardless of what flag fly’s over their streets. Rome fell for a lack of patriotism and for comfort. And by the grace of God here we go…

Drinking is fun.

2006-12-06T23:29:00.000-06:00

Well, for me it’s a must. At least after working. It’s like I hardly smoke when I’m not working. And I only drink during the week. Total opposites of everyone else. Stuff is getting really retarded at our office. Our station has been the saving grace for over 6 months in our company. A shinny little light. And we are now near the end of our recruiting month and it’s not looking so hot. The one guy I had any hope of getting is a total turd. Has a 2 yr degree, lives with mom still (remind you he’s like 26 years old) and does odd jobs to scrap up money. Well I freaked out on him when, after talking to use recruiters for about a year now, did pick a job. What kind of loser wants to be 30 years old and live with mom until she croaks, and do nothing in life? I just lost it. I started yelling at this guy to man up and get the f*** out of my office and when his balls drop and he no longer wants to suck the milk from moms titty. To check out the air force. That’s where all the girls go. Because he will all ways be a nurtured momma’s boy.

I want to hurt people.

Turd a la King

2006-11-20T19:59:00.000-06:00

Work is getting more retarded. It’s obvious to me when they start treating an E-7 like crap. Standing at the position of attention and parade rest for several hours while lecturing to him about something he had almost no control over. We got word, or my station commander did, that we had a DAT loss (pissed hot for drugs). We even had a clean test before he was sent down to join. One of our recruiters also just got back from an Education tour. That’s where they send teachers and college professors to an army base so they can see the benefits of military service. He said it was like baby sitting 45 adults, but he also said that I was a nice break to be back in a real army environment. Not this bullshit recruiting army, where the chain of command hasn’t been in the real army in 10 years or more. I’m just waiting, if not for myself, for one of us out here (as many of us are war vets) to snap on someone and go to the pen. At least we would get treated a little better. Even if it’s out of fear and not actual respect.

Sorry I haven’t written on this thing in a while. Been busy breaking up with my girlfriend and doing a little man whoring. It’s good to be single. No more emotionally entangled bull shit. Let alone the pain in the as of always getting asked if I want to talk about my PTSD issues. I mean, why would I bother going to see shrink if I wanted to talk to you, right?

I’m tired of turds, that are so unmotivated they can’t see the shinny bright future in the army over the pathetic I’m never leaving moms basement until I’m thirty three future they have now. I just can’t believe that after all the service I’ve given my country I have to let some fuck nut be in the driver’s seat of my military career. I hate people. I can, for the most part say that my friends here are the ones I hate the least. I miss the war. If you didn’t like someone you shot them or you beat them. The rest of the time. Smile and keep walking.

2006-07-31T23:20:00.000-05:00

the girlfriend is in gone for the week for training with her job. so i'm a little bored. i've been looking at houses the past few days. i figure if i make the money i do in the army i might as well show something for it before i hit college. speaking of which i started to fill out applications for that that. i'm looking at 2 good colleges right now. i just have to turn them in and look at which ones i get accepted to. and then declare a major. i'm looking forward to classes, but not being with the people i dislike so much. i'm a military man down to the bone. i just dont like recruiting.
i had a someone test for me got a QT of 96. which is very impressive. but i dont think they will join. they are looking at the band. and i'm just not seeing the mind set required to join. i think shes afraid of making a mistake in life and what the parents have to say. its just a bummer. so much potiental for us and them. and i think it will just be a waste of air to continue. but i will until i'm told that they are not going to join. its just what i have to do. i've got 391 days until its all over and i dont have to care anymore. just want to get out of recruiting. get on with my life. regardless of its military or what. anywhere but here i say. weather was very hot. riding my bike was a treat in this weather. to bad its only got a few more months to the riding season. another reason to get a house. i can store it. no one seems to be reading this blog for now. but its new. so no security risk...

2006-07-31T18:29:00.000-05:00

You Will Die at Age 58

Not bad, considering your super wild lifestyle
Want to live longer? Try losing a few bad habits.

What Age Will You Die?

2006-07-25T09:54:00.000-05:00

"Men, this stuff that some sources sling around about America wanting out of this war, not wanting to fight, is a crock of bullshit. Americans love to fight, traditionally. All real Americans love the sting and clash of battle. You are here today for three reasons. First, because you are here to defend your homes and your loved ones. Second, you are here for your own self respect, because you would not want to be anywhere else. Third, you are here because you are real men and all real men like to fight. When you, here, everyone of you, were kids, you all admired the champion marble player, the fastest runner, the toughest boxer, the big league ball players, and the All-American football players. Americans love a winner. Americans will not tolerate a loser. Americans despise cowards. Americans play to win all of the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost nor will ever lose a war; for the very idea of losing is hateful to an American."

Its all fun and games. i'm always supprised as to how many kids think of this stigma when it comes to the military, not just the army, but all the branches. one kid wants to go into construction. i told him we would pay him to learn a construction job for us and give him a ton of benifits. but he just blew me off. shit i didnt know that getting at least 37K for college, 15k cash bonus, free insurance (both life and health), and 30 days paid vacation a year was something to just blow off. what was I thinking. 50 thousand dollars easy in benifits your first year alone.

anyways, it was an emotional day. i managed to make some appointments with people that are interested in the army. that was a good thing. it was crazy at the office. there was a ship day lose with another recruiter that our station commander didnt even know about. my recruite today left for MEPS, they have an awsome job with the army, they are going to be a blackhawk mechanic. i've heard that they make like 60 to 70 thousand dollars coming out of the army.

my girlfriend is in bad shape. work is coming down hard on her. shes in sales, and shes got to type up her sales, prepare a presentation, and had a 5 hour meeting. there are just not enough hours in the day for her to finish everything. especially when she has two awsome kids at home. they are so cool. anyways it will be done.

day one

2006-07-24T23:42:00.000-05:00

i dont like spell check or using the shift key unless its something i have to do. if it was really that important it would just happen. anyways i guess i should tell a little about my self but that could violate some stupid rule. i'm a little bitter. i've been an army recruiter for a while. a while is like a year and a half. i'm just over the half way mark of my tour and enlistment this term. i dont plan on reenlisting. and for any stupid punk or dumb ass out their its not because i have the army or nothing like that. i just never planed on making a life out of it. its been awsome since i've been in, all but this stop in recruiting land. i have had the worst time here. i liked invading iraq better than calling your dumb.. let me repeate... DUMB ass kids. yeah the ones that hang up on me or want to goto college and are miss guided or lost in life. and will just drop out before they get to their second year and then move back in with mommy and daddy, mooch off them and get some shitty job. and say they are saving up to go back to college. i in my desk job armed with my handy weapon (the phone), try and talk these kids in to joining the military. i say if you aint doing shit with your life. do something with your life. i dont not want people to goto college (i think double neg. are cool). in fact i think that the college are so corrupt, just like tobacco and oil. that everyone has to goto college. even though only 25% of the jobs require college. brain wash you say. the military teaches confidance in yourself and others around you. until i came out here to recruiting, i had forgotten what a hole in the world the geneal public was. ok.. that may be a little uncalled for. but i'm just venting right. sure.

just go out into life. go out there and kick some ass at what ever it is you do. dont let america stay anywhere but in 1st place. we must reclaim our glory or be just a foot note in history for inventing a silly bomb or something like that.

as for USAREC. thats the part of the army i work for. SUCK MY BALLS. if you havent recruited in the last 3 years. come back out here on mission and pull your pubes out with fire ants. dont tell me i need to work on anything when you didnt teach anything. i slept through your damned recruiting school after they told me that my boss would tell me to forget everything i learned there. and i have only rolled one "nut." thats when you dont put anypeople in the army for a month. my biggest gripe is that if they dont get a 31 QT but have qualifing line scores.. who cares. let them do something for their country. give them a life. and something they can be proud enough about they will tell their grandkids about.

fuck man.. lets get with the program america.