Hookers are Free! Pain is expensive.

I think I’m afraid to write in this thing. Not for fear of getting in trouble with the command, though it’s not like I’m writing the doomsday of recruiting. But I just don’t think I want much to remember the last 2 years. Well almost 2 years, with one to go. I found out the ex girlfriend (hooker/whore). Is dating a fire man named Tim. part of me wants to warn him about her, but I wont. It’s up each person to see out the pain of mistakes. I’m currently man whoring it up with 3 girls. I’m not saying I’m a saint. After all the hell I’ve been through. It’s my way of karmic revenge.

I wish I had died in Iraq some days. I wouldn’t have had to bare the burden of recruiting in a country that’s so self centered. I wouldn’t work for a disconnected from reality command. Or for that matter I wouldn’t be out of shape. I wouldn’t be ashamed of putting on that recruiting patch. Until recruiting, I had never felt any shame about my uniform. The way people look at me after they realize I’m a recruiter, it’s like every retarded asshole verbal expression they have about anything must be thrown down on my shoulders. It’s not like I have to put on a smile every day and listen to it. Smile to the people that come up to me and shake my hand and tell me how proud of us (troops) they are, then tell me how this war is dumb and we should just quit. JUST QUIT! I just want to scream at these people that I should just quit too. That no one understands why we do what we do as soldiers. Hell, its people like that who make me think twice about it. I think it was Rambo that said, “I just want my country to love me as much as I love my country..”

I’m a drunk, a womanizer, a little over weight, late for work; ignore my family’s phone calls out of fear of having to talk about anything with anyone. All I want to do is go back to Iraq and fight. Take all the anger I have built up here and take it out on them over there, I blame them for all this. If they would just fuck off and let the people of Iraq live and go on with their lives I wouldn’t be here have to defend the basic ideas of America, and how they should be available to everyone every where, regardless of what flag fly’s over their streets. Rome fell for a lack of patriotism and for comfort. And by the grace of God here we go…